'The Losses We Share'

Meghan titles the piece with The Losses We Share, highlighting that we don't always have to go through the difficulties of life alone. She begins to write about how on a regular morning in July, things took a quick turn and she would soon find out that she was losing her second child:

"It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.
After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband's hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we'd heal."

A Flashback To Their South African Tour

After discussing this difficult morning, Meghan is reminded of a certain question that a journalist asked her while the couple was touring in South Africa. At the time, she was just getting used to being a mother to baby Archie, who was less than a year old, while also getting used to the harsh eye used by the tabloids, to judge her every move. She recalls that question in the op-ed:

"'Are you OK?' a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn't responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.
'Thank you for asking,' I said. 'Not many people have asked if I'm OK.'
Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'"

She then goes on to say how the year 2020 is a perfect time to practice this question, with people dealing with the isolation of the pandemic along with an election in the United States brutally tearing people apart.

Meghan's Request For This Thanksgiving

Meghan explains how just talking about a problem can seem to lighten the load. She explains how we can get closer to healing when we are our stories:

"Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."

With Thanksgiving coming up, Meghan concludes by reminding us that now is a very important time to make sure the people around us are okay:

"So this Thanksgiving, as we plan for a holiday unlike any before — many of us separated from our loved ones, alone, sick, scared, divided and perhaps struggling to find something, anything, to be grateful for — let us commit to asking others, "Are you OK?" As much as we may disagree, as physically distanced as we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of all we have individually and collectively endured this year."