Some Ground Rules

As per usual with these rankings, I need to do a quick disclaimer before I really get into this.

First: this is not fact, nor is it the opinion of Advocate Channel or anyone affiliated with theme except myself.

Second: I love all these movies. The criticisms I'm about to lay against them are not my saying they're bad movies. They're all great movies, and I love them dearly.

Third: I have my opinion, you have yours. My opinion is better, but that's neither here nor there. Just please remember this is based on no realistic metric, it's just my opinion.

Fourth: I will be ranking Deathly Hallows as one movie, because it is one movie, I don't care if it came out in two parts. Also, I will be saying Voldemort, please get over yourself.

7. Order of the Phoenix

This is a controversial pick, I know. My hatred of this movie, my vitriolic hatred, has nothing to do with the camera work, acting performances, lighting, plot, writing, or story. Dolores Umbridge is just so insufferable that I can't even physically watch this one.

That's nothing against Imelda Staunton, either. She did an impeccable job of playing the devil incarnate. Too good a job, in fact, because I can't even watch this movie without pure rage boiling over inside of me.

It's not anyone's fault but my own that this is my least favorite, but least favorite it remains.

6. The Prisoner of Azkaban

I was surprised to see Azkaban end up this low. I really like this movie. I feel like there's too much going on, though. There's the map and Peter Pettigrew and Hermione can travel through time and there's dementors and Lupin is a werewolf (couldn't see that coming with a name like Lupin) and Harry's uncle is a murderer but he isn't a murder and Hagrid has a big bird thing and the patronus and Harry's tea leaves say he's going to die. Point is, it just feels like a lot crammed into one movie.

It still executes well, but it doesn't follow the same straightforward plot that the other movies do. It's just a little all over the map.

5. The Chamber of Secrets

This is where the transition from goofy to serious gradually happens, climaxing in the realization that s*** just got real. We start with a goofy adventure to Hogwarts in a flying car, a weird house elf appearing in Harry's room, and a handsome professor who doesn't actually know a damn thing.

And we end with, well, murder, and giant snakes, and students being attacked, and that pesky old Voldemort coming back once again!

It's a great movie, don't get me wrong, just not as great as the rest of what's to come.

4. The Half Blood Prince

The Half Blood Prince was like the calm before the storm, the sort of steady escalation into the all out war that was The Deathly Hallows. We saw Harry find out a lot about himself, fall in love with Ginny, and grow into full form through the trials and tribulations of a teenager with the whole world on his shoulders.

And the ending was, well, you know, devastating.

3. The Sorcerer's Stone

Let's take it back to the good old days. The child acting in this film from the acclaimed trio of Radcliffe, Watson, and Grint hit their stride immediately, with a corny yet endearing style that kept a childlike whimsy to the dark things unfolding in the background.

This was sort of like The Hobbit. It was a fun, childish intro to the darker, more meaningful things to come. Which makes sense, because that isn't the only thing Rowling copied from Tolkien, but anyways...

2. The Deathly Hallows

This was done so well, which is especially impressive for how truly chaotic the book is. The battle at Hogwarts is full of all the excitement and emotion it should be, the deaths hit as hard as they were meant to, and we saw all the characters reveal themselves for who they truly were.

It was the perfect ending to a perfect series, full of death, tragedy, and victory over evil.

1. Goblet of Fire

Goblet of Fire is objectively, the best in the series. How can you escape how gravitating it is? The previous three films focused fully on one issue, whether it's the Chamber of Secrets, the Sorcerer's Stone, or Sirius Black.

But this time, we had a mysterious enemy, one Harry wasn't even aware he was fighting. Harry was succeeding time and time again only to march to his own assassination attempt. This movie climaxed in the most ridiculously sad death of all time, which frankly is why it gets the #1 spot. The death of Cedric was executed perfectly by the filmmakers. It was just as sad and heartbreaking as the books were.

You truly felt the cruel indifference of Voldemort, the tragedy and heartbreak that evil can inflict upon the world. It was just a taste of what was to come, but the first taste stung the worst. Bravo.